re-visiting my mind...

Okay so hello there!


Today I thought I'd include an extract from a stream of consciousness exercise I did in September!


I only thought of re - visiting this because I'm coming to the end of my time at school and looking back at how I felt at the beginning of this school term I'm sure would be a revealing experience!

So prepare.... 

" Pizza is far less on my mind than you .. well.. now that I've said that I'm craving the pizza.. we can have pizza, one day and I can lick that bit of tomato sauce from your lip and make you smile in that cute way but for now I'll sigh and ponder, work and get on with my life get back to the pizza, the parcel the usual happenings, the music and the dreaming, the foolery and the laughter – I sware I almost died that time when we were laughing so hard, that silent, painful yet irresistible laugh that you get on special occasions, yeah that laugh! I need to pee and I've probably written enough, people are probably beginning to get bored, but this is like a release – oh my pee needs that release.. I really need to piss and I probably shouldn't have included the word piss but then again I've used the word fuck a lot as well. Sometimes it's just gotta be said you know, fuckidy fuck I'm a fuckin' modernist after all words are only a variety of sounds its just our brains interpreting so why does the sound fuck sound so good? The two sharp consonants at the end and the buz of the f at the beginning? I think it's the F because Duck does not sound as good. Okay I've gone off onto another tangent, the desire to pee is slowly decreasing my bladder is like “fuck you then if you're choosing you're homework over me, we'll just come back in the least convenient moment” I can't believe people actually pay for someone to go to the toilet on them , come the fuck on people what is arousing about somebody taking a dump on you? Jeez, some people I just don't get! but each to their own, each for their own heh but at least the orange tang has gone from my mouth..

That lip balm really is unbeatable I bet you'll love the flavour when we kiss, I dream yes but nothing is unsurmountable, only if you want it to be and you and I? We're simpatico! together we can achieve the best! I'm not making promises, there's no need for promises, you shouldn't make promises but it's cute when you do, when you say I'll be the one with you on the red carpet, when you promise to call later and forget, I don't get annoyed about that, I find it cute and I don't stay up all night waiting by the phone because I know that I won't get any work done that way, I might as well get on with my life and if you call then that's wonderful, If not then I'll understand.

Well for now I'll get on with my life, I'll get home, eat, work, live dream, talk and laugh, cry and scream knowing that you're there, out there breathing the same air, walking on the same earth, looking at the same sky and the same stars. Yes I'll wish upon a shooting star, I've seen about 4 in the last 2 months I guess I'm better off without the Genie because I know I'm no Alladin, but even so I will dream of sailing round the world on a magic carpet with you because I'm a romantic and the time is approaching.. the time, oh the wait is bittersweet, exciting – not knowing what could happen and frustrating at the same time. Tick on, dear clock, beat on, dear heart. Live and love, smile and appreciate. Life is fucking beautiful."

So that's my mind back in September... is that revealing enough for you??

I should bloody hope so!

LOVE you all! 

All the best with all your work and exams.. We're all in the bottleneck together! <3